Kate's Newsletter: Introducing Rose Winter

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Planning for a Home Birth

During pregnancy, I have been preparing my mind and body for a home birth, a choice that reflected our values, our beliefs, and our commitment to a positive birth story. After all the preparation and some luck, I’m happy to say that Rose and I were able to achieve it together (as a team)!

Upon reflection, I believe that one of the main reasons I was able to achieve my dream was because I had the support of a solid team - doula, obstetrician, and birthing partner. We chose a team of professionals that were experienced, pro-natural birth, and who were advocates for mother and baby bonding. With C-sections being the norm rather than the exception here in Singapore (elected or emergency), I am grateful to have had the support and guidance of Ginny and Dr. Lai to make it happen.

Prior to giving birth, my biggest fear was pain.

I didn’t know what to expect and was afraid of “What if I can’t tolerate the pain?”. I knew I wanted to avoid having an epidural if possible, but I wasn’t sure if I was even ‘up for it’.

From the antenatal classes, I learned a few important things about pain:

Having pain signals in the brain is useful, being born without pain receptors leads to an early death
The brain processes pain and pleasure through the same nerve pathway - which means it can only experience one thing at a time
I can change the way I experience pain by reframing the sensation with positive words
Between contractions, the body gives relief and rest = no pain
I can control my breathing to manage the intense sensations, one breath at a time

Ginny taught us the benefits of experiencing pain, the purpose of the contractions, and what to expect along the way. Planning for a home birth meant that I had already said ‘no’ to an epidural (only available in hospitals), so when the gynaecologist office called and asked if I wanted to rent gas tanks for laughing gas, I asked Ginny - to which she replied “You only need it if you feel unprepared or scared about giving birth”.

So I took a leap of faith, and went ahead and told them “No, I don’t need the laughing gas”.

Labour occurred at night, which progressed quickly in the morning, due to the position of the baby. Ginny set us up for the expectation that my water still needed to break, before the next stage of labour (active pushing). However, I felt the urge to push. By the time baby’s head was crowning, I knew I was already almost at the finish line. A few more concentrated breaths and the baby was out.

Once this was all over, I knew I have found myself a new friend: pain.

It reminds me of this quote “All pain is temporary”.

If a wedding was meticulously planned and everything done to ‘perfection’, then a birth would be unplanned and everything outside of one’s control.

The Joys of Motherhood

The first week post birth, I felt out of my body. My body was serving its purpose and providing for my baby’s needs. Me and Edward worked together to care for Rose and each other, while we also had a confinement nanny to help out with meal preparations and household chores.

Sometimes I felt overwhelmed with love and joy, crying tears of happiness and wondering how everything is a miracle. Other times, I felt stressed and anxious, worried about my milk production and whether I could pull through for another day.

When meeting other new mums and dads, we exchange glances of understanding, knowing what we could be going through as new parents.

Other priorities fade away and a part of my life’s purpose seems to be fulfilled by becoming a mother. It made me reflect on how I could turn generational trauma into generational blessings, from the women in my family.

I learned to take things one day at a time, with Rose growing and changing day by day.

It’s just like the song,

"What a difference a day made

Twenty-four little hours

…

What a difference a day made

And the difference is you”

Favourite Finds & Recommendations

Video: How to Make Learning as Addictive as Social Media

This is a Ted talk by the founder of Duolingo, where he talks about the logic behind Duolingo’s owl mascot and why he wanted to make a language learning app, that is free for all to enjoy (freemium model).

Podcasts: Melatonin for Sleep: Microdosing, Sleep Apnea, CPAP vs Inspire

I’ve read Dr. Steven Gundry’s book Gut Check, and this is his podcast. From this episode, I learned that rather than seeing Melatonin as a ‘sleep hormone’, it is actually an ‘anti-oxidant’ that is produced at night for mitochondria repair.

Book: Worthy - Jamie Kern Lima

This book caught my eye because the author posed a question “Imagine what your life would be like, if you never had any self doubt”.

I like this quote from Jamie: "In life, you don't soar to the level of your hopes and dreams, you stay stuck at the level of your self-worth". I’m currently half way through the book, and it made me take action towards being more authentic each day.

Jamie separates out ‘self confidence’ and ‘self worth’ into two separate concepts, where high self confidence doesn’t automatically lead to high self worth.